The Holidays are over and one thing I noticed, as I wrestled the dead Christmas tree out of the house with a fever of a 102. I need to learn to ask for help!
How do you feel about asking others for help?
I’ve noticed that many of us, myself included, get a little funky about requesting support. While we’re all different and we each have our own unique perspective, reaction, and process as it relates to reaching out to others, it seems that this can be quite a tricky exercise for most of the people I know and work with.
I have somewhat of a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde relationship to asking for help myself. I can definitely be a “do it myself super bitch” at times and often, especially when I feel stressed or pressured, try to do everything myself — either because I feel insecure about asking for support or because I self-righteously think that I’m the only one who can do it the “right” way. On the other hand, I can sometimes be quite pushy, forceful, and bigheaded with my requests (to my parents) of support. Ah, to be a mentally ill human!
However, as I’ve also experienced personally and seen in others many times throughout my life and in my work, there is a lovely place of balance between going it all alone and demanding help from others in an obnoxious way. This all stems from our ability to genuinely ask for and kindly receive the support of other people. The paradox of this whole phenomenon is that most of us love to help others, while many of us have a hard time asking others for help ourselves.
Requesting support can often make us feel vulnerable (gross not the V-word). We usually think that we should be able to do everything ourselves or that by admitting we need help, we are somehow being weak. In addition, many of us are sensitive about being told “no” and by asking others to help us we put ourselves out there and risk being rejected.
What if we had more freedom to ask for what we wanted and for specific support from other people? What if we could make requests in a confident, humble and empowering way? What if we remembered that we are worthy of other people’s help and that our ability to both ask for and receive it not only supports us, but also gives them an opportunity to contribute (which most people really want to do).
It still might be a little intimidating, we may get our feelings hurt from time to time, and on occasion people may have some opinions or reactions to what we ask for or how we do so. But, when we give ourselves permission and remind ourselves that it’s not only OK, but also essential for us to ask for help — we can create a true sense of support and empowerment in our lives and in our relationships!
Here are a few things we can do to have more freedom and confidence when asking for help.
- Know your own worth. You are worth it! Everyone deserves help.
- Know your limits. You are not the only one that can do it right. Stop being controlling!
- Be of service! The universal law of giving and receiving is the ultimate way of keeping abundance balanced.
- Be easy to support! Let people in to love you and care for you. Again you are WORTHY!!
- Give your support! Its true people love to lend a helping hand and they also love to be listened too. Ask how can I support you today.
Happy 2018 ED Warriors may this year be filled with limitless dreams and goals to make them come true.